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Happy death day redux: Another granola-crunching glimpse of the Apocalypse

Timewave 2013: The Odyssey II: Friday through Sunday, August 15 through 17, at East West Exchange

By Clay McNear

Last month, I wrote a catty little blog about the quasi-documentary 2012: The Odyssey. In it, I cattily opined that nothing whatsoever will happen on December 21, 2012. That's the End Date, see? It's the terminus of the Mayan calendar, the alleged onset of the Apocalypse, the day that corrupt humanity finally gets its comeuppance.

After the blog ran, I got the following feedback from a guy named Robert: "Thankfully there are [a] few folk who are putting serious thought into the possibilities of a global cataclysm in 2012, and what to do about it. Isn't it nice to know that some people might save our species, our knowledge and our culture from extinction, and don't mind appearing stupid if it doesn't happen?"

Two points, R --

1) While it's great that there a bunch of deep thinkers pondering our fate should 12/21/12 kick us in the collective ass, what the hell is there to be done about it? You said it yourself: It's global cataclysm, dude. Armageddon. No more calendar entries. Poof.

2) As for those people "who don't mind appearing stupid if it doesn't happen," well, that sort of stupidity was never my point. My problem is how stupid they look now.

If unprocessed granola could speak, my guess is it would sound a lot like the following "sell" from the home page of Sharron Rose's movie Timewave 2013: The Odyssey II, the follow-up to her controversial 2012:

"During this fascinating expedition into the nature of time itself, Ms. Rose speaks to many of the world's experts on mythology, alchemy, astrology, anthropology and ancient history. They discuss topics such as the shift of the ages, the galactic alignment, global warming, the pervasive role of the media in our lives, the secret place of refuge, the mystic work of Benjamin Franklin, renewal of the American spirit and the transformation of humanity. Journey with Ms. Rose beyond the Georgia Guidestones, Denver Airport, Cross of Hendaye and Mayan Calendar to the Sacred Valley of Peru where we sit in ceremony with the powerful Shaman/healers of the Q'ero people and listen to their powerful prophecies for the future of humankind."

Now, come on! Aside from making me want to stick a pin in my eye, what could "the pervasive role of the media in our lives" and the "renewal of the American spirit" possibly have to do with the ancient Maya or anything else End Date-related? That's my problem with amorphous concepts like 12/21/12: They're reflecting pools for our insecurities, offering simplistic-sounding solutions to complex problems and a kitchen-sink repository for every crack-brained scheme that ever came down the pike.

As mentioned in my original blog, filmmaker Rose is chomping at the bit for the end time, because she sees it as the opening salvo in a metaphysical evolution. The chick's so sunny and gay about the whole deal that every now and then, she almost reels me in. Like, would this evolution thing mean that the drivers of the world would suddenly learn manners and stop slamming into my lane without signaling? If so, I'm there smoking magic grass with the shamans.

Then, alas, Rose does that yakking-granola thing again, as in this nearly indigestible quote encapsulating her view of the coming rapture: "It is said that as we move to the end point of the cycle, whether it be the end of the world or the end of a life, time speeds up until there is no time, only the moment. In this extraordinary moment of reintegration, the psychic knots that bind us unwind, and the karmic veils are lifted. In that moment we can see with true clarity and pure essence of our being. We come face to face with our eternal nature. Time dissolves into space and all things appear in the perfect simultaneity of the state of pure immediate Present. This is the moment of true awakening. It is the still point between the thoughts, the pause between the in breath and the out breath."

To which I can only respond: WHAT-ever. I'll see ya on December 22, 2012. We can share a bowl of talking granola.

Timewave 2013: The Odyssey II screens at 7 p.m. Friday and Saturday, August 15 and 16, and 2:30 p.m. Sunday, August 17, at East West Exchange, 2051 West Warner Road in Chandler. Admission is $10. Call 480-855-6010 or see For more info about the film, check out

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Clay McNear
Contact: Clay McNear